What could they use in America to re-label them? My guess ‘saloon shooting brake’ would be mistaken for a recreational gunfight in a bar.

Why did the truck of chicken tenders cross the road?

The irony of my childhood is that the way I overcame my rampant carsickness on those hour-long SoCal drives was by roleplaying a secret agent being chased by the bad guys in all the cars around us.

I once saw a search result clipped at “She has aged considerably...” only to find the body text reads “She has aged considerably better than her male counterparts.”

“But— I need that contrived outrage as an excuse to cover for my generally malevolent behavior!”

In a business, when the owner/upper management prevents the union workers from reporting to their shifts during a labor dispute, it is known as a lockout.

Changing my locker combinstion to 2545.

“I have the best brain! People admire my brain and want it for their own! I tell them ‘No! You can’t have my brain! I need it for myself!’ Then they look at me with a funny look on their faces because their brain is not as best as mine! Stupid people! Stupid people who admire my brain!”

Only reason they’ll forgo the name Ragnarok is because they like the alternative GottdamnI’veBeenRung instead, giving how hard the acceleration will slam you against the headrest.

Funnily enough, I can see how “uphill... both ways” can work-- if you went to school back in the days when the tectonic plates were shifting as Pangea broke up.

Your blatant use of puns certainly gave paws.

That’s why I have never counted gambling among my myriad vices and sins. Should I ever win the lottery, all of my luck will be consumed and I’ll end up with a meteor crashing atop my undiagnosed brain tumor while chasing after the lothario who stole my trophy wife and checkbook.

“There will be no shortage of good candidates. The difficulty will be choosing among them.” — Adam Schiff

Make a mistake.

He didn’t even fire Mattis face-to-face today. He had Mike Pompeo do it for him.

I dunno. Sounds more like to me somebody should rip that stick out of Trump’s ass.

“When President Obama ingloriously fired Jim Mattis, I gave him a second chance. Some thought I shouldn’t, I thought I should. Interesting relationship-but I also gave all of the resources that he never really had. ...”

Ending a war by giving in to hostile forces doesn’t seem like a good way to accomplish things.

The kicker is that Mattis left the letter with Trump in an amicable enough a mood— mainly because the idiot couldn’t read the lines, much less between them.

Get out of my phone, marketing demons!