And somehow still get Drew Barrymore to agree to play her.

Rock Tightpecs

Why do all of Doctor Doom's plans take place in Hawaii? And why are there six or seven of us, depending on whoever isn't hung over that morning?

"Hey you random ship crewmen, whose names we can't often be bothered to learn. We have these lovely new red shirts for you to wear. We think you'll really be pleased with them."

Area Man Wants to Attempt Stunt He Read in Satirical Newspaper

You'd think Coney Island would be cool with it, on account of the restaurant chain. Apparently not.

He just looks like a Regular John to me

He's so hot right now. Ansel.

I look terrible in a bikini

Whatever they call themselves, they all love David Hasselhoff

If my friends and I don't find the treasure first, our homes will all be sold to greedy developers.

SPOILER- Jesus came back from the dead three days later

I was feeling Impulsive
(And that is officially all the W/P song titles that I know…)

Hold On for one more Tusk

Go Go Power Paid Content!

Hmmm.

Mayo is still worse but ketchup is in the running.

Liz Phair

That guy only has a brief hiatus from filming "Simon and Simon" to get in some skiing, and those damn boarders were ruining it!

Well, I like those Quorn frozen meat substitutes. They use some sort of fungal protein. They do both a fake chicken and a burger and both are good.