Seems he’ll be going to prison precisely because he has a hard time letting teenagers go.

Imagine being SO INSECURE that you blow up your whole criminal enterprise because you can’t let a comment from a teenager go?

If they actually manage to get Trump in court for anything it’ll be taking those documents home. This shit’s already dragged on longer than Watergate even though Trump’s crimes aren’t nearly as well hidden as Nixon’s.

“Pretty damning stuff, but what does that mean legally for the ex-President?”

Tut had some cool stuff in his tomb. The dagger from meteoric iron, amber that had come all the way from the Baltic Sea area via trading, etc.

Not surprising that the metal of the blade came from a meteorite. The technology of mining and smelting ore wasn’t exactly widespread then.

Also literally how we found out about Pete Davidson (allegedly.) Ariana Grande was the one who spilled the beans there.

I mean that’s what one partner says about him, yeah.

This just in - normal-looking dude who’s also funny is dating woman. MUST HAVE A GIANT SHLONG AMIRITE?!

“It vaguely reminds me of his fellow Saturday Night Live alum Pete Davidson’s own approach to romance” - which is literally the exact opposite approach.

Comedians tend to date well. It’s not like funny doesn’t play well with women who aren’t celebrities. By this logic Colin Jost must have a big ol dick too.

Don’t be silly.  The Keystone pipeline can’t have a leak.  We were told that 3 years ago.

It’s really weird that the only reason anyone seems to be able to come up with for celebrities dating other celebrities is “GUY MUST HAVE A MONSTER HOG!”

While she is, indeed, “the [senior] Washington [state] senator”, she’s also currently the Assistant Democratic Leader (No. 3 in the Democratic Party), but will be stepping down from that role in January as she will be taking on the roles of both the Chair of the powerful Senate Appropriations committee and (was…

I was wondering if someone got the reference.  Thank you for giving me an excuse to haul out that deep cut.

It is if you operate under Timecop physics, so I’d allow it.

There was a time, maybe 2 years ago or so, when I would have considered Trump taking classified documents home to be 1) not shocking at all, 2) probably a result of carelessness, or 3) part of his weird affinity for mementos. Or maybe 4) to assure himself that he is still president, as if possession of those documents…

Tweet 9: If a douchebag shakes the hand of another douchebag, does the physics kill them off  by having the same object occupying the same space?

It doesn’t matter where blood comes from. It is just as safe if it comes from Mexican nationals as if it came from somebody who was born in and had never left Iowa.

Someone should tell the racist Republicans they’re getting Mexican blood.