So, and I’m just spitballing here, but security clearances are no joke and DC’s marijuana laws still appear to be fairly draconian. Maybe there’s a risk that a staffer could be blackmailed over a routine, but still technically illegal, marijuana transaction or possession above the 2 oz. max?

Between Hannity’s vape pen and the “I have to PEEEEEE” guy last week, I’m starting to wonder if the Fox News production staff has finally had it with these fuckwits and are doing everything they can to undermine them.

Good god, that’s ridiculous. I assume Title IX doesn’t apply, since these are tournament, not school, facilities?

Dr. Krieger’s going to be crushed!

It’s the classic American family dilemma. You try getting 2.5 kids to school with just a sidecar!

Seen here auditioning to be the host of the Hunger Games.

You don’t enjoy the immersive experience of hearing and seeing your coworkers snacking on potato chips?

The synopsis threw me off, then I realized I was confusing She’s All That with the early-aughts Disney channel movie Motocrossed.

People use other senses when driving, too, particularly hearing.

Probably a slightly worse day for the eight people he killed.

“Yesterday was a really bad day for him and this is what he did.”

Zombie brands! Leeching money from unsuspecting customers for decades.

He’s just happy that Russia’s known for being good at something again. That hasn’t happened since Sputnik.

I assumed passwords because she used the information to cast 117 votes from student accounts in rapid succession using her phone and computer (according to CNN)

Laura Rose Carroll...illegally accessed student information system FOCUS to view all sorts of confidential records, including account information concerning 212 Tate High School students

Oh, this is theoretical. Just going by the title, I thought Buzz Aldrin masturbated in a used Tang pouch and tossed it out the hatch back in 1969.

But his kids are going to remain kids indefinitely, which means significant childcare costs for more than the usual 18 years.

For a second I thought the headline read “American Dad is dead.”

One of my Facebook friends was posting about how incredible this announcement was. I’m pretty sure this person is the polar opposite of those fuckwads politically, but they’re also a huge #FreeBritney supporter.

I feel like that was actually discussed last year when the first checks came out—that Trump’s signature delayed delivery a bit.