How was this woman able to elude officers? It's not easy running with an erect penis. It hurts like hell.

How could you leave out:

"a 265-pound bouncer, muscled his way through the crowd toward Jones, only to find himself face to face with Jones' bodyguard, Reid, who weighed 400 pounds."

Hong Man Choi is a joke. I thought Dana was trying to legitimize the sport? Lesnar/Emelianenko is going to look far more like pro-wrestling than UFC.

She smuggled massive quantities of Meth inside 2 chest compartments. It was a brilliant scheme until an police officer noticed they weren't quite even, after reviewing security tapes for more than 8 hours.

@Bobby Big Wheel: What with all those magic pony's in the way and all.

@DeepFriar: Frankly, there barking mad to let a QB like him go. When he was on the field, it was electric.

@Nocturne: And as someone who works in the industry, you should know that every industry feels this way ALL THE TIME. We're always on the precipice of complete disaster. VCR, Betamax, DVD, the internet, Napster, Kazaa, TPB. We're always one step from the edge, and the industry is screaming 'This will end us! we…

Only 4 involved 1st degree murder, and only 2 were given the death penalty! lay off already!

Wiffleball? The only way to get really injured is if someone beans you in the head with a full beer. I don't believe this "we ran into each other" business.

Work some garlic, salt, red pepper, cumin, and steak sauce into the ground meat, then work each patty into a ball before flattening. It gives you a much better sense of size and the flavor works perfectly. Salt down side before grilling, salt upside while grilling.

Where were you all when Sage Rosenfels was looking for his first friend?

Why, there hasn't been any special grass growing in the field since the days of Manny Ramirez.

Is she wearing some kind of hug-proof barbed-wire shirt?

I think they're better off. You're never going to attract Asian ballplayers with a name like Shitty field.

I love fifth-grade humor as much as the next guy, but this one was funny for about one week back in 2005 and now it's just tired.

Seriously, whenever you're the "lone survivor" or anything, you can pretty much do whatever you want. Also, I actually like this.

He works waste services AND solar energy? Something about poop sitting in the sun all does not sounds appealing.

Well handed the bill, Mr James proceeded to throw talcum powder in their faced and flee the scene.

"The team doctor lists the cause of the illness as 'Carlos went a hoggin'".