I was just going to say "fuck you Jon Voight" but I guess this is a more considerate response.

This issue is so polarizing, I feel like you have to make an exhaustive list of your feelings on every angle of the conflict in order to avoid being dismissed as anti-semitic, anti-Israel, anti-Muslim, anti-Palestinian, etc, etc.

It'd just say "money" over and over again. Groot she ain't.

'Rhyming' a word with itself in another line is one of my biggest pet peeves.

Just because you don't support the Israeli government's actions doesn't mean you are an antisemite.

Cool Whip for the win, every time. I'm not even ashamed.

I think we rock!

As a Brazilian, I get my revenge knowing açaí really makes you poop. Like, I can eat a couple tablespoons and be in the bathroom all day. I hope that all the Americans who believe it has magical health properties are pooping their asses off.

Today was just a giant war between not leaving the couch and leaving to get ice cream. Ice cream, for once, did not win. Couch FTW!

I hear you; I am never NOT serious about chocolate chip ice cream. The chips are in the ice cream, not the cone. They do have those cones that are chocolate-dipped, with sprinkles around the rim, but that never seems quite right to me.

More like pantieded MIRITE? (Seeing myself out, now.)

I had to go to the bank before it closed and liquor store unfortunately. It sucks because I stayed up until 6 am drinking and smoking pot. Something I haven't done in awhile because I'm in my 30's but my coworkers are bad influences! :) I accidently puked in the sink trying to hock a loogie after I woke up. …

And that is not even meringue, it is apparently toasted honey marshmallows.

There are probably many people looking at your life with envy. The grass is always greener, and we never know what's going on behind closed doors. Your life sounds kinda great!

When I was kid, I loved mini stuff (still do!), and I found these cute little coins (pennies, dimes, quarters) that were smaller than my pinky nail. I brought them to school to show my friends, who were so similarly impressed that I got more and started selling them to other kids at recess. I got in trouble for it,…

It featured in a House of Cards plot line! I was excited.

But... Why. This is just delicious food with an unnecessary roadblock.

It's sad that a piece of fruit looks better in panties than my butt.

All those times when people want to tell me about about their Ack-kai berry smoothie*