I DEFINITELY would prefer green nipples.

That is!

At LEAST!

I don't like it either. I put it in the same camp as the "save the tatas!" t-shirts for breast cancer awareness.

How about a variation with nipples pointing in different directions?

I hate them too. I think it's just you and me.

THE blimp man!

But where are the slimming garments for husky men?

What the hell. That's terrifying.

Aghhhhhhhhhh! I don't know. I might prefer a rock to a jagged piece of plate.

Yeah, pebbles in bags of lettuce makes sense. Why didn't this guy order a salad?

Yikes, that sounds terrible!

A while later, the bartender comes and gets me and says that the guy, who ordered food, found a rock in his steak and wants to talk to me.

You made me sad baby

"LOCK THE DOOR"?

Fuck. Why is this a thing?

In my (limited) experience, HR people are extremely shitty. I worked in that department for a pretty small company (<100 employees) for several years and my boss was an asshole about hiring candidates. I of course was tasked with the actual recruiting effort, and here's how it went 9 times out of 10:

what are the words for neuroticism? I got like 80% for that one.

I love this. I would like to put so many people on a mental raft, I just don't know if I have the strength to push them out to sea.

You have to admit it'd be pretty cool to not have to pee.