Adrian Peterson told reporters, “That was a new one for me. It was different.”

You might instead be a series of smaller humans stacked on top of each other in a trench coat.

“LET’S LET THE LEGAL SYSTEM HANDLE THIS BEFORE WE RUSH TO ANY CONCLUSIONS”

Between Mary Jo’s fastball and the Pennsylvania grand jury report, that’s going to be a lot of retired priests.  

Can I get a printout of Oyster smiling?

Probably just the ghost of an unvaccinated child.

Mitch McConnell has equal measures of integrity and chin

People want him to be the pretty boy or the bad boy but he’s a weird indie kid at heart, I think!

Have you seen The Lobster? He was actually phenomenal and hilarious in that too!

Colin Farrell is deeply underrated. In Bruges made me a lifetime fan.

“Captain America: The Winter Soldier does not respect Batroc the Leaper or his leaping.”

Hey Meghan McCain, who is funding The Federalist?

sexual orientation is a protected class, political affiliation is not. It’s actually a pretty clear and obvious difference

That’s an awfully slow response time by Milwaukee police.

Lewis’ words cut so deep he’ll have to throw away another suit.

Every time a trailer for one of his movies come up at the theater, I squee like a little girl. I wish I could keep him in a giant jar in my basement, like so much Mr. Belvedere.

Couldn’t bring himself to utter the words “shame on me.” Wonder why.

Remember when we thought Bushisms were as dumb as it could get?

I’ve commented before, “remember when we thought Dubya was the most embarrassing thing the Republicans did?”