Wait, that actually happened where I’m from. Is that not canon here?

But they look so different! You are cutting a WIIIIIIIDE swath.

If Vincent Adultman doesn’t make you laugh, you may not be human.

Adult Swim has been playing these lately. I most definitely got that THING they sent me.

John Krasinski is available.

I hope that when this is all over, and none of these people can get a legitimate job, that there is a Celebrity Boxing appearance in Stephen Miller’s future, and that I have magically become a D-List celebrity.

I Googled Matt Smith Leather Jacket. I got this.

Yessssssss I was hoping somebody down here knew where it came from.

Aaaaaaaaand now all I can hear is the music.

I’m hoping for an OpenBOR version of IW.  It’s made for it.

I was a camera operator for a video company that shot the trials to go to this. Imagine the same event in a tiny gym in Battle Creek, Michigan. I coughed out chalk for a week after I got home.

The Beast was the coaster that showed me that wooden roller coasters give me a headache. It was the 3rd wooden coaster I had ever been on, and I always came off them with a day-ruiner of a headache and never connected it until the Beast.

Reading that I spit out my cereal. Hollywood is WEIRD.

I’ll always get a laugh out of a Celery Man joke.

My father-in-law loves to see bad action movies, and we have seen some doozies with him. Lone Survivor, American Sniper, movies of that ilk. This year, we saw The 15:17 to Paris. Holy shit was it terrible. 

I hope they enjoy paternity suits - this news just got darkest timeline Kelly kapowski very pregnant.

Hey look everybody, it’s Donnie’s intentionally bad appointment to give him an excuse to leave the UN! Just like Daddy Putin wanted!

That is a pretty big hurdle.

I always tell racists that they have failed an IQ test. They start talking that shit with me because I’m about the whitest person alive, and I live in the Midwest, so they assume I’m racist, which is fucking infuriating. If you hate someone for the color of their skin, you’re not smart enough to converse with.

I just switched to DirecTV Now from satellite DirecTV and it’s...pretty good? Occasional hiccups but for less than half of what I was paying I’m happy.