I ran out of jokes to put on here regarding these beautiful Cardinals losses. So I decided to honor our greatest comedic loss, Mitch Hedberg. I think it’s an appropriate parallel, even if a bit forced.

Counterpoint: it's funny, and you chose to waste your time.

That’s one of my favorite JFK speeches.

He does still suck now, he just happened not to suck at precisely the right time. It will pass.

The Magic Number for the Cubs is now 95.

I hope the Cardinals lose 100 Games.

Losing to the Reds should count as two losses, and beating them should count as nothing.