Zach Braff told me that The Shins would change my life, but he failed to mention that the only change would be permanent erectile dysfunction.

Join the club. She seems to be everybody’s first-choice fancast on social media. I got no problem with that.

Nancy Meyers made $5 million? That’s a lot of throw pillows.

Oddly enough, they kept the part where Jesus sent used condoms to his disciples.

The Catholic Church destroyed the part in the Bible where Jesus starts an overrated rock band.

Indiana Jones and the Chinese Box Office

He may have read the first paragraph congratulating him, but stopped at the second paragraph when Obama actually offers advice.

Most of his donors are disappointed.

Umm... he already played George W. Bush.

He’s like the Kinja of presidents: Ugly by design, never wants to work and is preoccupied with making everything a white space.

Christ, Del Toro, if you don’t want us to joke that you delay or cancel every project, don’t make it so damn easy.