This is glorious. Where did you find it?

Hey, dude. For the sake of complete clarity I'm just going to say this one time. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want you to talk to me. I don't want to talk with you now or ever. Goodbye.

Oh for the love of god. Please no one engage the alderan. He's following me around now because I called him out on trolling. Some people lead sad lives.

Dear god. I imagine this is what it's like when she hits the 28th pint of the day.

It's the bubbles and the acidic flavor. I love it. I don't like normal soda because the syrup is so thick. I feel like it's all gooey and give me the heebie jeebies.

My dad was addicted to that stuff, no joke. He always had 2-3 cases of diet wild cherry pepsi and would get super testy if us kids tried to drink his soda. I guess I'm not surprised that as an adult I really love diet cola and if I let myself I will drink 2 a day. I try not to though, because it makes me have to pee…

The scientist in me is morbidly fascinated and hopes that we get that data.

SERIOUSLY! I have one Diet Coke and I'm peeing like four times in an hour!

Is this a good time to bring up bacon maple cupcakes? Because I feel like it is.

I'm just hungry now.

Yep, that's pretty much how I feel about the issue. I would do that but I don't think telling my future in laws to butt the fuck out of our business is a great start to joining their family. Whatever. The funniest part is I've already told him I've been proposed to before (many years ago). It was at sunset, at the…

Thank you! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills over here. He said he has a bunch of people telling him it has to be perfect so that I can tell 'the story' for the rest of my life. ... and I'm like, what the hell does this have to do with anyone but the two of us??? He's seriously driving me insane. He took me to look…

Gross. It's trying to talk to me. No thanks.

I've run into this guy before. He's a troll. It's just what he does. He lies and lies. He starts off almost reasonable to string people along, then it's just a downhill run of offensive shit. Walk away from this guy he's just wasting your time.

Thank you! I wish I could star this 100 times! That guy is such a complete tool. He trolls around here all the time. I don't know why anyone believes anything he says. FOR GOD'S SAKE DO NOT ENGAGE WITH THE ALDERIAN. QUIT FEEDING THE TROLLS, GUYS!

Barbie doesn't fuck around. Middle school teacher, army nurse, and astronaut? Yeah, she's done that.

So this is what I would do:

Lil bub is a girl, and yes she always makes me feel good.

The time we drew eyebrows on the dogs and it was glorious.

So my boyfriend says he wants to marry me. But he wants it to be a complete surprise to me, so we can't ever talk about it. He says he is buying a ring, but we can't talk about it. And he says he simultaneously wants direction and approval from me BUT also wants to feel like he is making this decision free from…