Officer: Hands on the wheel, sir. License?

When I was in 4th grade, I joined the newly formed "Dad's Club" softball league. Being a new league, there were few regulations in place. So there was a notable lack of a mercy rule.
In one of our first games, we played a team with an above-average group of fourth graders. Meaning they could all hit. My team,…

Russian teen, seen in dashcam footage dangling 350 feet above the ground off a partially-completed building while beneath him a car is flipped upside-down when its tires get caught in downed power lines, electrocuting the driver in mid-air: "Strip bars are irresponsible."

This is a refreshing change from baseball fans who catch home run balls and drop the baby.

OP named his sword.

You're not surprised because this was in Texas?

I know I'm late on this, but Chillie Poon beating Norman Bevis Many Fingers will never stop being inexplicable.

I like how the first thing he does is overwater a plant.

It feels like standing up at a party for one of your employees* leaving for another job and talking about how you have some concerns about how they will perform at their new job. It smacks of sour grapes at the least.

This is about the only time you'll ever see, 9 out of 10 next to JR Smith's name.

From what I've heard, you probably don't want DeSean Jackson around that many weapons.

And I get the distinct feeling that no NFL executive, no pundit, and no fan will be willing to claim Washington screwed up in signing an elite wideout to an affordable deal just because he's taken photos with gang members.

Wale certainly picked the ideal event at which to start a nonexistent fight.

This is an excellent advertisement, considering that each gif is a perfect copy of the previous gif.

Officer 1: The pepper balls aren't working! He's still standing there, doing absolutely nothing.

Luckily for this young woman she knows the Miranda Rights. Miranda has no rights. She's an androgynous ginger of quirky disposition and awkward haircuts that plays 4th fiddle to the extravagancy and opulence of Carrie, the courtesan encounters of that harlot Samantha and the refined and repressed sexuality of…

Just like the old saying goes: "'I' before 'E' except after 'C' and don't you dare put a motherfucking 'K' after that shit either or I'll murder the fuck outta you."

Sullivan's final wish is to be buried in a convoluted plot.

Knowing Ray, he'll probably only get 1-2.