Staring at them is a bad idea though

Even soccer events permit a black nondescript armband. If you can say "even FIFA permits..." you know you're on the wrong side of the issue.

PA announcer: "Okay fans, are you ready to win the prize of your life?!"

He's just showing off. After all, not every Olympic athlete in Sochi has the benefit of working drawers.

This really takes finger painting to another level.

In a more just world, he would have been able to sell these pictures right after the game.

Sure, his hand might have grazed his opponent's crotch, but there's a vas deferens between that and an actual shot to the junk.

See, James Dolan? You don't necessarily need to spend all that money for players who are going to shit the bed.

Proud of you Jennifer. Don't listen to the assholes. This is how progress is made. Two steps forward, then a hesitant shuffle to the side, and then WHAM, three steps backwards through the air.

I'd keep him on the roster. It's rare to find a player who can go out and give you 21-21-21 every night.

ummmmmmmmmmm.... isnt it a little RACIST of you to assume that just cause this kid lives in rio di janeiro that he is poor and also has no father????

"All the alarms went up in September," Killy said.

I also recently learned the tough lesson that spending extra money doesn't always lead to the desired results. My wife declared a "red alert" while on the way to our Valentine's Day dinner.

"Awww, OMG, look at that little guy! He's so darn cute! Is he flying with you?"

Sorry Kev, "Motherfucking" is already taken.

As ventriloquist dummies go, Yao's is incredibly lifelike.

There's a WIDE gap between doing something stupid/illegal to harassing someone to the point of wanting to kill themselves. Furthermore, IN ANY OTHER WORKPLACE IN NORTH AMERICA, this guy would be instantaneously fired for one of the 400 statements and actions that he made. Let's not pretend this guy is just involved in…

I'll never understand why these guys feel the need to drug women. You're a professional athlete! Shouldn't you have someone to do that for you?

Ahh, "context." Because doing any of these things would be fine as long as other people in other locker rooms are doing them.

Typical, considering the Irish have a long tradition of falling off the wagon.