Trevor Bauer isn’t mad he got traded to a non-contender. He finds the whole thing funny, and is actually laughing at how angry you seem to be.

Jalen Ramsey gonna lock you down so hard Fort Knox is going to call him and ask for advice! Two thirds of the Earth is covered by water, the other third is covered by Jalen Ramsey!  He got things covered liked those book covers you had in elementary school unless you couldn’t afford one and had to use brown paper bags!

“Jalen Ramsey is gonna pick your pocket. Forget that, he’s already in your pocket! He’s a Mastercard — priceless. He’s a dang Visa card — everywhere you want to be. Here, take a Jalen Ramsey Pick Club card. Pass them around, don’t be shy. 10 picks and your next pick is on Jalen. Don’t lose that, Mr. Kahn.”

“Y’all know what time it is! This man covers so good, he could have his own cell phone service. The man so good they’re finna give him his own jail: Jalen Towers, because these receivers are on 24-hour lockdown. If you check his pocket, he’s got eight Master Locks in his pocket. They’re on lockdown all season. The…

You may tell jokes, jerry seinfeld, but you are no comedian.

That kind of treatment really leaves a burn... kind of a twisting, abrasive feeling on your skin.

That wasn’t the fucking Super Bowl, that was the NFC Championship. And THAT is how I know you’re a real Niners fan.

I had reservations about commenting on this extremely prickly subject but well done.

Growing up (I mean technically he could still do this, but I haven’t seen it) my buddy used to use a piece of grass to force a sneeze on his younger brothers, which inevitably would lead to a big fight, and yet he’d do it regularly.

I‘ve been to a Cardinals game back when they played at Sun Devil Stadium, Satan was there taking notes on how to make hell hotter and solidifying his stance that the Cardinals would be the only team people could watch in the pits of eternal despair

All the goddamn metal. Reflects the sun in ways so that even a 400 pound plumber’s taint could get sunburned.

I was tempted to give it the benefit of the doubt because I once got a blowjob in the parking lot of the Rooster T Feathers comedy club, but then I realized Rooster T Feathers is in Sunnyvale, not Santa Clara.

Guess that would make Pelinka the Jud Buechler of fucking up the Lakers.

my precise thought upon hearing this.

*Richie Incognito throws his father’s arms up in disgust*

Pitaro was hoisted by his own Le Batard.

It’s codified in the Federal employment rules.

Ley. He’s reportedly freakishly tall, and, “Hey, he can’t help it if he’s bigger” is exactly the kind of bullshit Talls pull when they cut in front of you at the bar by just reaching over your head.

I was thinking Greenwell.  She has aggressively bad opinions.