I regret to inform you that isn’t a béarnaise sauce.

He’s basically what the movie “Rookie of the Year” would have been if the kid had been Ben Shapiro. 

*Aaron Hernandez convicted of murder*

Talk about dedication to his players, he went out and got CTE to show his solidarity

Ah, if only someone - say, an occasional contributor to this site - had proposed this idea in 2016...

Also, I was at his 50 point game and managed to shout a very loud “you suck derrick” into a dead silence early on in the game. So some of this might be my own fault.

don’t forget this classic:

Come on Kawhi Leonard

I have posted this photo before, but this is Yosemite Valley 2.5 years ago. There was a lot of burned out trees due to the drought. The upper part was fine from what I could see. Sequoia/Kings Canyon had a lot more dead trees from the drought. This is in stark comparison when I was there 20 years ago at the Valley…

I recognize that I am not qualified to comment on this story.

Just to cover my bases, if you see the Booger Mobile for sale on Craigslist, please let us know at tips@deadspin.com

Build a Witten Mobile and have him battle Booger in a showdown televised over the summer. The winner gets to be in the booth with Joe Tessitore, while the loser becomes an assistant coach for the Raiders.

Harden has 4,974 made field goals in his career, and 5,160 made free throws in his career. That’s just mind-boggling to me.

For reference, Dwyane Wade has 8,179 FGs and 5,607 FTs. 

Because I’m a giant, miserable, Silky Johnson-esque hater, the only thing about this that makes me happy is it serves as yet another data point in the by-now-ironclad argument that Carmelo Anthony is worthless.

Insert here the eternal reminder that Tom Coughlin chose Blake Bortles to helm a team with a Super Bowl quality defense over Colin Kaepernick the last two years.

Jon Jones: Someone remove this girl, please.

Probably wanted to give him the absolute maximum amount of time to get clean.