“Don’t feel bad for me!! This what I signed up! It wear and tears on your body over time! I’ve been doing this 15 years!! “

Isn’t there some law against politicians just giving people money as part of a campaign? 

Sileo later clarified, “I don’t think you understand. When I called those players ‘monkeys,’ it was because they were black, soooo...*shrug*”

Yeah, that’s what Youtube is for!

Would you say they can’t get no....Satisfactory resolution to this situation?

Like why wouldn’t you want to listen to this dude?

Can we talk about how the MNF crew tried to frame Vontaze Burfict as a peacemaker?
Like I’m sure Antonio Brown wants to get lectured by the dude who spent the last half decade trying to paralyze him.

That is somehow both too many Superman paintings and far too few for Dwight Howard. 

“All I’m saying is, consider that MAYBE this woman drafted Josh Gordon in fantasy football...”

You can look at that way. I choose to look at it as Kobe letting this girl attend her dance recital, and letting a woman tell him “no” is a very big step for Kobe.

I always thought the McMahon’s worked best as the amoral, rich villain. The wrestlers they pitted against were stronger, tougher and perhaps more cunning than the McMahon’s but the McMahon’s had the power and were willing to be incredibly cruel. The minute one of them could stand toe to toe with a wrestler, a lot of…

Trump has really helped me understand my own family better and vice-versa...which is so much sadder than it sounds. 

Same but:

This is legit boomer brain that comes from consuming 12+ hours of TV a day. I have family who leave the TV on constantly (literally always in the background when they’re home) and they can not focus on one topic for any period of time. They’ll ask you a question and when you’re in the middle of answering, they’ll just…

Menlo College? I remember that place for two reasons, 1) I’m pretty sure a friend played a volleyball game there in high school (nice campus) 2) it was right before the Blockbuster on El Camino that my old girlfriend used to steal from. I never knew they were a football school.

“Banned from the Browns?! Oh-no....I guess I’ll just have to spend 3-4 hours every Sunday getting horrendously shithoused and hating myself from the comfort of my own home.”

I mean that kid CAN NOT be more than 10. So, as a Giants fan, this isn't even in the top 20 most embarrassing things he's experienced. 

Someone needs to explain to Nick Underhill what the fuck “undertones” are. Usually they are slightly subtler. 

This is just a really clever way to justify not inviting Representative Shitfuckasscunt to the debates.
I’m on to you, DNC!