If your unwritten rules state that not getting hit with a fastball is worse than getting hit with a fastball, maybe your rules suck.

Year 1: Bad player

What a shitty comment.

Orioles fans call that an Ortiz trot. I think it’s appropriate for Boston, especially after they threw at his head last time around.

Here is the thing that these sort of people do not understand:

The logo graphic looks like the title screen for a Nintendo 64 game.

If you regard sections of paneling flying off in a storm as something that just needs tweaking then I’m certain I don’t want to hire you as a contractor.

“the team that made a surprise run to the 2015 World Series thanks to Yoenis Cespedes’s strong hitting”

Your Kinja handle... Dear god it is savage

And I have to Craigslist to find a woman to hit me and spit on me. Some guys get all the luck.

It needs to be connected to WiFi so that it can cost $400.

What’s up with the Derek Zoolander attire?

Society failed him? Are you fucking kidding me?

Wow, this guy just can’t stop killing people. 

“Heat Check” and “Fam”? Fuck, I’m getting old. This doesn’t even seem like English anymore. Just put me out to pasture, already.

As you age, tastes change. I for one have found I no longer like Honey Nut Cheerios either.

Unfortunately, there is a good chance this one will be canceled after a promising pilot.

Philly jokes have been scheduled for automatic update immediately following Eagles Super Bowl victory. Unfortunately...  

As of press time 75 percent of fans who voted on Twitter would like Bryce Harper on the Phillies.

Tomorrow: “Would you like to see Clayton Kershaw on the Phillies? Yes or No?”