I didn’t bother to look at the comments, but people always try to insist I’m in the wrong for doing it. Am I particularly proud of it? Nah. But I don’t regret it either. Like I said, I got lit the fuck on fire.

Fuck it, I’ve had a huge bottle of cider, let’s talk about how a five-year-old lit me on fire.

Pretty low. Liquor is more water than alcohol, and acetone is far more combustible. That said, cap those bottles for flavor safety if nothing else.

Yeah, you see, I can tell from your comment you’ve never had somebody with a substance addiction in your life, and frankly, I hope you never do. That said, it’s really, REALLY not like in the movies.

Re: The Moving Bachelor Party. This is one of those "everybody's a dipshit" situations, but the guys whining about the lack of a "bachelor party" are ultimately in the wrong here.

Yeah, actually, the best man probably loves this idea. Nobody has to get dressed up, no dinner reservations, no massive bar tab everybody argues about splitting at the end of the night...

Actually I'd give the Rock good odds. He's an eloquent speaker, he's got no major scandals in his past, he's got plenty of charisma, he's more than happy to acknowledge his past and not be ashamed of it, and he's got a criminology degree, so he's got knowledge and experience built-in for a major political issue. I'm…

Have you been to his doctor’s Facebook page? The guy will hopefully get a qualified psychological consult, because his doctor clearly doesn’t get the psychological aspects of addiction at all:

...Honestly, I really prefer Purple Haze. Abita is one of those breweries where I like one or two of their beers and the rest is just a sea empty of opinion for me.

Basically, it's not his house to burn down, is what I'm saying. It's a shitty situation, and the dad needs to own up. But that's not within his power.

This is why he shouldn't marry her. Like, if he rolls out that secret, the family falls apart. Her mom and dad will get divorced, most likely: He's cheating, that never ends well, and covering up his sexuality, which also never ends well. His daughter will probably never trust him again. Basically if he drops that…

Yeah, I have to admit, if I got to the "getting married" stage in a relationship, and my wife waited until then to tell me she was bi, I'd be upset. Not "break-up" upset, nowhere close, but pretty hurt.

The main problem here is that he's got the potential to burn the whole family to the ground. I doubt her mom knows about her dad's wandering penis; I doubt either her or her mom would take that penis wandering into her fiancee, by total coincidence no less, at all well. Basically he's trying to figure out how to…

As a white person, I can’t claim to have fully abided by it, but when I’ve been smart enough to, it’s served me well.

I like to point out to those people that the food they’re eating is genetically engineered, just the slow way.

Actually this feels way more for new readers. You’ve got these low-commitment two-issue series, there’s a little primer about the backstory in the last few pages, and they go across an enormous range of heroes.

I seriously expected that sentence to end with “2/10 would not bang.”

“Mouth closed, ears open.”

To paraphrase Futurama: Can Tucker Carlson fight Erik Wemple? Yes, in the same sense than an infant can fight Muhammad Ali.

I'd recommend Mama's Little Yellow Pils as well, if Oskar Blues distributes in your area. Not my favorite OB but a good beer.