First of all, I’m so very sorry for your loss and I hope you and your family are doing as well as possible after such a terrible time.

I don’t like mayo or tomatoes so there are things I don’t like that you probably do! Woo!

I’m sure he’ll be replaced by a younger Mr. Peanut, his son, who won’t wear a monocle and top head, because that’s so Boomer.  Though I’m hoping for his grandson, who will wear a backwards ball cap and ride a skateboard.  That would be so....so.

If you can’t find a way to fill 6 seats with 3 days notice, you have no business running a restaurant.

That comment is golden.

He brought the bones of the golden tomahawks home in a doggie bag and intends bring them to a lab

“Beyond Mark Hamill’s floppy Tiger Beat hair, nothing about Star Wars even looks ’70s.”

If Palpatine controlled Snoke the whole time, and Palpatine knew about Rey and wanted to turn her, why did Snoke order Kylo Ren to kill Rey?*

To quote a great movie: Amazing. Every word of what you just said was wrong.

*sigh*

To be fair, the man was Lando, the smoothest dude in the universe.

I actually really liked the line of “It’s not a Navy, sir. It’s just people.” And, boy, do I hope that’s how 2020 goes. 

A pregnant waitress already got more than the tip.

If I were writing this as a piece of meme fiction instead of a Real Interview That Actually Happened, there would be exactly three exchanges:

If you want to break it down and smash the hot dog meat, that’s not even really enough meat to make a good sandwich.

Or a stoned one? She is rather friendly with snoop d-o-g-g.

If there are three cup sizes, and the person taking the order can’t figure out how “small”, “medium” or “large” corresponds to their naming convention, then their compulsory education failed them.

what is that?  They bring out the tuna filet and slap you across the face with it?

Honestly, the most mindblowing part of this was the username DIP_MY_BALLS_IN_IT.

Take it easy

It's a girl, my Lord, in a flatbed Ford, slowin' down to take a look at me.