If I win can I resell it within 24 months, or will Ford’s attorneys come after me?

I wished after he revealed it was from Obama, he said, yeah, it’s from Obama you racist morons, have fun trying to live in the real world you idiots.

When I read the headline, and of course the article full of fact, humor, vim and vigor... I was like; Michael. You’re back;-)

It’s worth noting that this data comes from an Uber investor.

I work in Downtown LA and drive 20 miles each way. The estimator on Lyft quotes me around 30 dollars from my Job to home which would cost me 1200 a month based on the estimator which is probably low. My car/gas/parking/insurance comes out to 750 and I can drive anywhere I want so I am definitely keeping my car

As impressive as it is, ending your dance battle routines with a backflip is kinda played out. Shooting somebody after that is straight next level though.

I was irritated by a road closure for the Palm Spring Vintage Grand Prix once.

Nobody believes you banged her hot friend. Truthfully, nobody believes she exists.

...and the remaining doors seem to be cut-down rear doors.

Somewhere in Rhode Island, there is an equally baffling Protégé limo.

I thought we canceled Kanye because of his Trumphumping.

Man, I had a Vertibird. Those were great.

You say “no reason”. I say “internet fame is all we have left”.

Going the opposite direction, I had an uncontrollable fit of laughter in the theater at the end of Se7en. I couldn’t stop laughing when Brad Pitt started yelling “What’s in the box?”

Chad sounds like a rapist. I’ll bet Chad’s a rapist.

If the current owners of Sesame Street really cared about Henson, they wouldn’t have sued his son for directing a movie for his company.