Love that this is what’s dominating conservative news today. You can smell the desperation.

The guy in the backwards cap that took a swing at a Wizards fan not looking his way confirmed every stereotype I have about grown men who wear their caps backwards.

Whatever it takes for him to stop hitting women.

“more than half of us”

There is going to be shit load of tainted meat.

I remember math class in the 80's. Teachers would say “You need to learn this, you’re not going to have a calculator everywhere you go.” Obviously the Olds designer wanted to correct that.

No library for Trump. Just a claustrophobic, gilded-to-the-gills media room with wall-to-wall screens playing the greatest hits of Fox News & Friends on a loop.

Wonder how the Trump Presidential Library will cover this affair.

Okay, so are you ready for the punchline?

I love Wanda so much.

Good for him. The prize money is going to come in handy; the man is a walking pre-existing condition.

Soapbox... As someone with a horrible family history of colon cancer, get your preventative colonoscopies (if you can afford it, obviously)! Too many people are putting them off because they’re “icky.” So is death and leaving your loved ones behind! My dad, his siblings, and Chris (in the story) all had colon cancer…

“How did your date go?”

I’ve never had a sexual experience that would qualify as a full-fledged event. Maybe a time trial here and there.

I know its supposed to be pronounced “fire”, but i keep reading it as “fry”. Then i get confused/hopeful that this was a french fry festival and wonder how they would fuck that up.

Chris Christie should probably not throw a loud and extended fit about the dangers of pot and yet here he is, doing it. Why not, I guess?  

You can live a healthy life and still get cancer. Or MS or ALS, or several other diseases. Or, you know, get in a car accident.

I think what they are alluding to is that after 6pm there’s Mormon than women out at the local bars.

This liberal bias is exactly why I canceled my subscription to Deadspin. I just read all the words in the articles and comment sometimes.