Two such men, in fact.

You know, I’m starting to think this guy isn’t as good a negotiator as he claims he is.

This deceptively simple test just reminded me that baby elephants are adorable.

Even though I think it’s reasonable to call this close of a loss a success, never forget how adept democrats are at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

Well, at least he remembered how big the cake was. The devil is in the details, you know?

If your plan for governance is so terrible that it makes you believe you need a 24/7 security detail, you might want to rethink your plan.

The world’s figurative tire fire now contains a literal tire fire.

SIMPSONS DID IT.

This is why we have Trump. Don’t nobody be telling me how to stack my tires.

Eating popcorn while watching professional athlete grandson play is some life of kings shit.

This is what happens when you simplify things to a moronic childish level. Government bloat?? Hiring freeze, problem solved. Terrorists problem, keep out Muslims! Problem solved. Simple minded lunacy that just creates chaos.

Premium, dude! She needs premium!!

Why I’m Leaving New York essays are the most annoying pieces of writing to me. It’s a place. Live here or don’t. Literally nobody cares, and your personal decision about whether to live here or not does not make or break the city.

Waiting for the experiment showing that wine makes condoms taste great. Oh wait that’s been done, it’s called “my twenties.”

Monday’s headline: Scott Pruitt disbands the Scientific Integrity Office for “budgetary reasons”.

You either retire a hero, or play long enough to see yourself become a shitty statue.

Well you can’t make an oppressive police state omelette without breaking some eggs.

“You have attracted people who are determined that ideology is more important than facts.”