give it a few months *boom boom!*

If they don’t use Galaxy hops, then what the hell are we doing here?

Motherfucker, we have CGI for a reason. This is one of those reasons.

Chris R.: “I really don’t like anything about this bar, but I still went there....UNTIL NOW!!!!” 

when we all get nuked, i’m hope is one falls right on my fucking house. i don’t want to walk away from this trash fire.

I honestly don’t know how fuck-clowns like Pruitt sleep at night.

I guess that blowie from Sean Hannity is going to have to wait.

It’s called your dad after taco night.

It’s hard being white and male.

Mike Pence is a bloody, wet fart.

A friend of mine had placenta accreta with her second child and had to deliver at 32 weeks. Had to have a hysterectomy and lost a ton of blood. very scary. 

I took them as prescribed after foot surgery. I can see how people can get hooked on them, I felt fucking great! Dangerous stuff.

two of the best things I invested in since i started using cast iron: Chainmail scubber and a bottle of flaxseed oil.

“No one tells the president he can’t do something,”

I”m going to start using the “(I’m being kind”) sthick after all my insults too.

I pulled a groin muscle just watching this.

Dave Chappelle: “I’m too fucking high for this shit.”

so things are going great so far.

Obviously he failed a drug test, he’s high as fuck in that picture.

this is exactly what i thought of.