“and assuming an “exploding” phone will merely self-destruct, not kill or seriously maim anyone”

So this rock slide isn’t an Aerosmith themed ride?

“at the end of the day, people don’t need unlimited plans.”

If things do get nukie, at least I won’t have to pay off my house.

I guess Jnco’s are back?

As a fromer walgreens employee, you couldn’t be more right.

i thought the same exact thing

I’d prefer a butt-plug modelo.

Thank goodness early humans decided to domesticate dogs because my dog if fucking awesome and I love him.

“they prefer naturopathic remedies”

I could listen to him talk or read his stuff all day, a completely facinating person. But actually hanging out with him would probably cause me a nervous breakdown.

at least throw a fucking lime in it or something. damn.

This is how I want to retire.

Dippin’ Dots are cold little garbage pods.

Ages ago I went to the Bushmills distillery and they had a distillery only 10 year whiskey aged in sherry barrels. Hands down the best whiskey, or hard liquor, i’ve ever had, but it was 100 euro a bottle. If i wasn’t a broke college kid at the time, i would have brought a few bottles back.

are 39th trimester stair abortions illegal now?

Oh fuck off already, Sarah.

I agree. I love the Kirkland Canadian whiskey and their scotch. The Resposado tequila, when in stock, is wonderful for 14 bucks 1000 ML bottle.

Fuck this guy with a jagged brick.

If your idea is to listen to rest of the game from the bathroom because you have the green apple splatters, I guess you’re easy to please.