I remember a few years back a fake football player also made the rounds on a bunch of shows, and then the Raiders drafted him first overall.

OSCAR WATCH 2014

I bet you eat at Applebee's too you sick fuck.

It is ironic they use the same font as 24, because that's the number of players the Bucs are away from contending.

As soon as they unveiled the new uniforms, the team received requests from over 40 players to change their number to 80085.

"Thanks for putting me on blast"

I'm kinda really hoping that the price-gouging in the wireless industry is just because the technology is still relatively new. Once it's been around a while and there's more infrastructure, it's gotta get cheaper. Right?

I'd be happy if 5-10 actually meant 5-10. I have an advertised speed of 80Mbps and I actually only get, max, 11.

The only reason for a lot of things is money, and greed. I heard 1GB of data costs cell phone companies as low as .10 cents, a ridiculous number considering I pay 100x that number to get it.

Okay, Virginia Foxx. He was murdered because of his sexuality. True, at the time that murder was not covered by hate-crime legislation and so his miserable, evil killers were not convicted of such. But we now define his murder as a hate crime in his name. "The Matthew Shepard Act." So yes, it was a hate crime.

Welcome to the blazing fast Terabit future!!*

In related news, JaMarcus Russell and Tim Couch each recently presented an autographed jersey to family members of Dax Shepard.

Denis: "I think it's getting..." [SNIFF] "...dusty in here."

"That was just me inventing"

♪ Take these broken wings

Donation target 1-877 KARS 4 KIDS has already rejected Incognito's gift, explaining that if they wanted to be associated with something horribly offensive to the human condition, they'd play one of their ads.

Welcome to Choose Your Own Adventure - Prisoner Reintegration Edition!

Luckily, her lawyer is also her Funkdafiduciary, so this should end up alright.

It's a really good illustration of the point that rape isn't about sex.

Here we have an incredibly good-looking, successful man. Most of the ladies would've banged him anyway. But the methodical drugging... Wanting to bang all these passed-out ladies. I wonder if he has some bizarre performance-anxiety problem along with the obvious power issues.