I remember a few years back a fake football player also made the rounds on a bunch of shows, and then the Raiders drafted him first overall.

OSCAR WATCH 2014

I bet you eat at Applebee's too you sick fuck.

It is ironic they use the same font as 24, because that's the number of players the Bucs are away from contending.

As soon as they unveiled the new uniforms, the team received requests from over 40 players to change their number to 80085.

"Thanks for putting me on blast"

Okay, Virginia Foxx. He was murdered because of his sexuality. True, at the time that murder was not covered by hate-crime legislation and so his miserable, evil killers were not convicted of such. But we now define his murder as a hate crime in his name. "The Matthew Shepard Act." So yes, it was a hate crime.

In related news, JaMarcus Russell and Tim Couch each recently presented an autographed jersey to family members of Dax Shepard.

Denis: "I think it's getting..." [SNIFF] "...dusty in here."

"That was just me inventing"

♪ Take these broken wings

Donation target 1-877 KARS 4 KIDS has already rejected Incognito's gift, explaining that if they wanted to be associated with something horribly offensive to the human condition, they'd play one of their ads.

Welcome to Choose Your Own Adventure - Prisoner Reintegration Edition!

Luckily, her lawyer is also her Funkdafiduciary, so this should end up alright.

Easy dude, easy. The author uses three words to describe the drugs Sharper used and two of them refer to Ambien. And I didn't read anything about liquid morphine. Sounds like you could probably use some downers, yourself.

the fuck are you talking about? He mixed MORPHINE with ambien. Liquid morphine is unbelievably potent and can cause someone to not feel whats going on and not know whats going on. This comment would be similar to if they said someone sniffed cocaine and took a caffeine pill and focused on the caffeine pill

christ..no wonder greg was so determined to escape him

It's a really good illustration of the point that rape isn't about sex.

Here we have an incredibly good-looking, successful man. Most of the ladies would've banged him anyway. But the methodical drugging... Wanting to bang all these passed-out ladies. I wonder if he has some bizarre performance-anxiety problem along with the obvious power issues.

That's enough deadspin for me today.