I learned the other night that it’s a penalty to ever be holding two sticks at the same time. Ryan Spooner tried to hand a dropped stick back to a teammate or some shit and got two minutes.

Jesus, do I really need to reserve the right to say elite professional athletes suck without a rider that yes, they’re literally the best players on the planet and any criticism should be taken with a man-sized grain of salt?

Yeah I think our friend at the top of the screen should be rotating back to the point position, as that’s where the shot came from. Like you said though, with all that traffic, the shot probably should have been dished to a wing.

All four players lower than the dot. One is following his shot in the wrong direction, one’s flailing in the crease, and the other two are flat-footed on the wings. That’s not how you do hockey.

Meet in the middle and put one on each continent? I dunno how the fuck Australia would swing it though.

The sunglasses emoji is the best emoji.

The fact that politicians continue to ask for such meetings is proof enough that they work.

This is a parable that echoes how I felt watching these videos. I was geared up for some pretty serious old-guy racism, and got some relatively milquetoast old-guy racism. While I’m sure he had some pretty backward perspectives on things, this doesn’t seem like a horrible person. Hell, he even had the sense to say he…

The OVEN? Are you INSANE? That’s an A2000.

Top prospect? I don’t put him in the same class as Moncada. He’s 24 and hasn’t hit above A ball (admittedly, Moncada has faced the same K rate problem, but he’s much younger and untested) and by all accounts he sucks defensively, which, if you suck defensively as an undersized 2B in high A, the outlook’s not great.…

Beyond the obvious insensitivity here, just from a player perspective, consider Zdeno Chara’s take on it. For years now he’s instituted a rule that the word “rookie” isn’t even used on the Bruins (they’re referred to as “first-year players”) because he found his own “rookie” experience so demeaning. The guy still has…

OK, fuck this guy with his own eleven-piece suit, but have you ever come across the Joseph Campbell/George Lucas interviews, The Power of Myth, etc.? It’s fascinating, and it can be sort of academic. The crux of it being that Star Wars is universally loved because it’s a modern myth, and people have been drawn to…

Just in the unlikely event that this isn’t trolling, I want to go on record as disagreeing with the entirety of your assessment here.

Dammit you beat me to it.

Wonder who nixed that initial trade. If I were the Bucs I’d do McCutchen for Giolito and Dunning in a heartbeat. If that third player was anything but org. depth, you’d have to be nuts not to bite, right?

It’ll be interesting to see which of the players in that top free agent 2018 class are still worthy of top cash and which have been forced into a second tier. For every team that can make itself a juggernaut signing the right FAs, there’s one that will cripple itself for a decade signing the wrong one(s).

0:09 - Clear unsportsmanlike conduct: taunting.

That’s kind of interesting. I think it’s common in just about every average profession to excel in something that might check certain boxes for you, but doesn’t define or complete you. I guess we tend to assume that anyone who reaches such a level of excellence in a sport must be completely obsessed. But that’s a…

It blows my mind that coaches and ADs can’t respond thoughtfully and appropriately to these things. At first flush, it’s a sticky situation. But think about it for a literal ninety seconds and I guarantee you can come up with a decent response: