I needed to do it to get the real experience. Well, a simulated one. A simulated stimulated experience. I'm like a fake journalist or something now.

Who says that wasn't my first choice?

Maybe next time! I'll get a celebrity. Harrison Ford.

MY PARENTS DON'T KNOW I DO THIS AS PART OF MY LIVING. If they do they'll get really mad at me. And I'm in my mid-30s. I'm still scared of making them mad!

Yes, a fraternity of one.

Joke, beep beep boop boop DANNIS IS IN A PERMANENT RESTART LOOP AND IS NOW DIED

This is a very good story. One time me and some friends were going through the Taco Bell drive through, and Ricky in the back was drunk off his ass. He was frustrated that the girls at the bar didn't like him (poor Ricky), and he violently threw a soft shell taco from the back seat into the windshield, where it…

Haha hi Neurozach!!! I do not think I could collect enough for a whole lip balm stick!

No need to apologize. People enjoy fast food. I enjoy fast food infrequently, but just out of health concerns. I respect what people eat, even if others scoff at it.

No! I actually mostly liked it! I'm not a snob, I promise. I eat everything. I once made a meal entirely out of penises. I do actual other food writing too involving better food.

I'm proud of you!

NO DIARRHEA I AM A CHAMPION

Yes, they are my friends, Mr. Bee and Harvey. As you can see, my avatar is Harvey because he is very nice and very silly.

Damn. We would have been best friends.

You found me!

Thanks Marty! That is a very nice thing for you to say. I am the worst.

I am very glad you liked it. I hope you have it Ready to Read when you are on the toilet doing a very normal poo.

Poop Jesus is actually a really cool guy. He showed me how to change a flat tire once.

I suppose adding hot water does not make them MRE's. However, I ate entire bags of the food which were 2 to 2.5 portions, plus, I really do not eat too much most days.

"Military-style pooping."