Hi. I sort of did. I'm helping my friend open his pizza restaurant here in Chicago and my schedule has gotten all whacked out. You guys want to see me do anything in particular?

I honest to God started laughing my ass off after I read this.

Thank you!

One wiener to fill all the holes

Hi. I know fast food gets slammed a lot, most of the time for good reason, but since I'm an eternal optimist, I am always hoping something will be good. Jokes are great and all, but if you can't figure out why I like or dislike something from what I've written, I've done a poor job.

Thank you. Generally people don't call me a hero. Often I hear I am stupid.

That Dennis Lee guy sure has a lot of alter egos. He is a really strange person.

Close enough. I like your username.

Well that, and I ate all of it.

I don't. I'd like to give you a hug. And I was the one who wrote this BK review.

I'm a food hipster?! My worst fears have been confirmed.

Hey! I like writing these! :(

I went STRAIGHT to crying from laughter at reading the first four words to this piece. That's like the stupid version of sublimation.

I appear to have inadvertently created a refuge for people finding shelter from the test commenting system. You may find solace here in cookies eaten by a generally angry man.

You rang?!

No matter what I do, I'm always at the bottom where I belong.

Thank you! I wish it were about something more heartwarming, but life isn't easy. You'll see more of me, I promise.

You'd be impressed at what I can pull off.

Well…it was my idea. Am I Vice? I do not think Vice would like me to write for them. I'm just a very silly person.

Thanks to your comment, I just got canned.