Haha that’s awesome. I too have studied some linguistics in my day. Sounds like a pretty fun project.

I’m guessing Celtics fans would like to have a word with you.

Ohio, you fucking failed me.

“Do I choose my teammates and my career? Or do I choose my family?”

I was all set to tell the old prick to shut the hell up until he said ‘a glitterbomb of a goal.’ Carry on sir.

It’s so vindicating to find real reasons to hate the people you’ve hated for years just because they had old punchable asshole faces.

Granted I don’t have much experience with Very Expensive Automobiles, but it looks like the car in the the video is moving as he’s getting out of it. My relatively-poor person cars never did that; is it normal for rich person cars to do that?

When DeMarcus Cousins implies some connection between monkeys and Black History Month, it’s cool. When I do it, I’m racist???

I bet you don’t like Fast and Furious movies cuz they’re just a bunch of fast cars, attractive people, and explosions for two hours.

She also says “Max FutureCats”, which would be an awesome name for just about anything.

Ohio State? And before you object, yes, Columbus is bigger than Seattle.

1,012 words is a lot of words for something nobody gives a fuck about.

Man, he destroyed that thing faster than he destroyed Kevin Love’s postseason. Impressive.

Isn’t this basically the premise of Four Weddings on TLC?

Is being a fuckboy better or worse than being trash?

That’s totin’ the line there? What the fuck would happen if Jones full-on stuck a tippy-toe over it?

Oh they lost their quarterback? That must suck.

Adrian Gonzalez: “Hey man, don’t you think that was a hit??”

That de-escalated quickly.

Young number 11 is a goddamn national hero