Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

1-877-KASH4KIDZ
K A S H KASH 4 KIDZ
1-877-KASH4KIDZ
ENSLAVE YOUR CHILD TODAY!

Boys In Tha Hood. *mike drop*

I'm sure that's what the natives of Portland were saying to themselves back in 2001.

Could be worse — could be Leavenworth.

So… you're just going down the comments and insulting everyone?

I already made that joke. Try to keep up.

For some reason, when all of my liberal hipster friends in Fresno started moving to Portland, all my conservative liberal friends started moving to Kansas City. Don't ask me why, I never asked.

Nuh-uh *pulls out vegetable peeler* give it here.

Do you wear Tap-Out shirts and Starter caps? Are you thinking of moving to Kansas City, to live the dream of the 80s?

Your white privilege comes from your skin. You'd still have white privilege if your great-grandfather ran a Woolworth's.

Ben Folds who? We're talkin' bout OUTLAW COUNTRY, man!

Well, for a start, this was during the Depression, probably — people were pretty skinny. The girl was young and undernourished so she probably gave birth prematurely. Women wore big, loose dresses at the time. Her dad worked from like 4am to 10pm at night and was probably in an exhausted fugue whenever he wasn't. Or a…

I thought that was pretty obvious — he couldn't live with the fact that he and the girl had drowned their out-of-wedlock baby.

This movie was my Woodstock.

Gonk ko kyenga see!

SPOILERS, dammit!

And you'd open up the box for your Millennium Falcon and find a mail-in coupon…

GONK LIVES!!!!

Easy to rebel behind a rubber mask.