The pre-Internet days had the benefit of keeping us all basically on the same page musically. My dad knew a lot more about what was popular when he was 40 than I do now.

They just couldn't seem to write songs about anything but strippers and cocaine in an era when I wanted marijuana and girls who work at the used book store.

Another contributing factor: Bon Jovi became popular with the moms of that era.

The weirdest thing about that change was that, where I lived in SoCal, the white girls who went grunge didn't know what the hell to do with their hair, so somehow or other they settled on doing it like the cholas over in Oxnard did, complete with the eyebrow thing.

It wasn't so much Nirvana that killed them but Warrant's video for "Uncle Tom's Cabin."

Jesus… just fucking shoot me…

"The Canadian Government has apologized for Bryan Adams on several occasions!"

Trust me — nothing has ever been helped by Ashton Kutcher.

Yeah, I… hey, wait! Aerosmith makes *me* vomit! Why you little…

I'd love to deal with it, but she's married to Ashton Kutcher. Her ass still has no bearing on this movie, and you're still a 14 year old.

Douchebags are what this series is all about.

Since when do Robert Plant or Adele sing like they're black people? What are white people supposed to sound like? Pat Boone?

Honestly, I think Kevin Smith should've done it.

"I'll take 'Pick-up Lines to Use on Kitty Pryde' for $400, Alex."

Ah, that explains that. I couldn't figure out why the metalheads couldn't stop orgasming over this movie's trailer. I guess I have another reason to be thankful I don't listen to Iron Maiden.

Some of the reactions to the trailer for this going around Metal fandom circles were truly hysterical — you would've thought this movie was the second coming.

Yes.

I was with you right up to your juvenile crack about Mila. Are you 14?

Because of course AV Club would give good marks to an obvious trainwreck…

Just now? I did it 35 minutes ago!