nah. my feet are standing in soap water. they’re fine. it’s all fine.

Yeah, uncanny valley like whoa. Well, not technically, but you get my drift. Looking at that anthropomorphic dog gives me the same anxiety I felt the first time I watched this fucked up Orangina commercial:

Ummm...a baby in a tiny white trench? With a tiny designer purse? Whose first complete sentence is “It’s handled”? I would die a thousand adorable deaths.

just shines threw

This garment is aggressively unkind.

Jesus Christ, what a bunch of butts. I don’t have kids and I don’t want kids and I don’t really like kids but I do my best to nod along supportively when people talk about their kids or show me pictures or whatever because that is basic human courtesy and also I guess it’s really nice that people love their kids? It’s…

You appear to have a problem. Maybe try dialing the righteous indignation down to 11 and click here

JLo BAMFs it.

Maybe he's reborn with it?

Not just the gays...I once gave some random dude a rimjob just because he didn’t believe it was the tits. I didn’t even know him and I couldn’t pick him out of a lineup if you had a gun to my head, but he was a believer when I was done, so I think I did the Lord’s work. Tequila, you son of a bitch.

dude, she’s a teenager. She said, “When life gives you lemons, throw them at boys.” And your response to that is:

"PoC have done this in the past at Duke as part of a political statement; don't rush to conclusions about our campus."

Black people: responsible for nooses since 1619

Where are its ears? What's up with its tail? What the fuck kind of squirrel is this?

Think of it as an opportunity for growth. As a Christian in America, you have, until now, been sheltered from careless or ignorant humor directed at your religion. For people of many other faiths, this is an everyday occurrence.