7th grade football. First game of the season. I felt a rumble in my lower abdomen during warmups. Right before kickoff I had to sprint to the bathroom. The stalls didn’t have doors on them, but I had barely made it to the toilet in time so I didn’t have a choice.

My middle school soccer team went an entire season without scoring a goal.

Wow these fans are ready to levee war on NFL officials.

You give Stuart Smalley’s timelessness too little credit.

We’re just here to pump...you up!

The Biggest Flex Anyone Will Ever Have Is Dying.

Can’t believe he openly talks about playing for the Buccaneers...

There’s often hilarious facts in these fan submissions.

If you think the Bengals will let go of a domestic abuser on offense *that* easily, you don’t know Mike Brown...

I thought Bob Ross passed away.

Jack:

“Wow hey, these guys are EXCITING! Too bad half of them would punch my grandma in the face!”

Ha ha, that would be a great name, but Murdy is pretty good, too, seeing as he murdered 7 people in cold blood just to see what it felt like. And he felt nothing but empty. 

He is literally the Lord of Dogtown 

How do you not name that dog Ollie?!?

Shitting on VAR shitting on the penalty shot. It’s shitception.

Phew! It had been nearly a week since Deadspin had posted shitting on VAR. I was getting nervous.

How many correct calls must we endure before this horror is banished to hell, and we can go back to complaining about refs missing all the calls before being stalked and killed by deranged passionate fans after the game, like the soccer I remember?

If you say his name, that means you don't "support the troops."

Is that one fella with afro and the disrespectful attitude towards ‘Merica still available?