Oh ya? Well my dog pees on other dogs.

You really do have the best words!

Never. Their fearless leader,Mike Pence, would be very disappointed. He would stage another early exit from the stadium.

Phew! It had been nearly a week since Deadspin had posted shitting on VAR. I was getting nervous.

If you say his name, that means you don't "support the troops."

He would make a solid “Scott.” Chances are he would insist you call him “Scotty.”

Matt Cassel??? What year is this?

“39 years old”

Not that it matters,but I personally wouldve preferred the winners team name to be Jerkin my Durkins. Maybe next year.

Well this involves a contact sport so <insert Kinja CTE joke>

That first video made me genuinely smile. Fuck BJ Penn. Also, was the other guy just walking around the whole night to multiple bars/clubs without a shirt? Like not even one in his pocket, he just left home without one.

I have no doubt in my mind that there are women out there with the ability to kick professionally and a badass like Carli Lloyd is most likely one of them. My question is why the fuck anybody, male or female would want the thankless job of being a fucking kicker? When you do your job correctly, you get a pat on the…

What did the “Old Baw Coach" think you guys were learning from that? Your coach was a sociopath. 

“If i wasn’t a vital Arby’s team member, you better believe I’d be out there crackin skulls too, but someone’s gotta be in at 5am to fold”

Not sure exactly. When did the South become a place where people live?? Sometime around then I'd guess. 

Precisely the same thing I focused on when i read this. I had no idea muscles could even rupture...I thought that was more of an “organ” kind of thing.