Terrell Owens does.

If I read this entire post, I’d miss the first 2 days’ worth of events.

I’ll take North Korea for $5 because that’s like a million there.

Truly, our generation’s War and Peace.

The fact that #200-306 isn’t NOBODY CARES EXCEPT THE PARTICIPANTS IMMEDIATE FAMILY AND FRIENDS but rather goes into detail is amazing.

I can’t stop fucking laughing at this post. +1

tl;dr x 1000

FUCKING SPOILERS, DUDE! There’s probably someone out there who hasn’t seen it. Like on Neptune or something.

It sure says a lot that despite the fact that her cousin murdered his dad with a light saber, she’s still regarded as the biggest asshole in the entire family.

Counterpoint: Absolutely, as long as he joins Matt Barnes on the Kings.

Even if he was an affirmative action admission all it would prove is that affirmative action kicks ass and is worth the investment, because we got Barack Freaking Obama out of it.

i feel like more people should be concerned about the full wetland ecosystem that this person has in their apartment

I just can’t get past the idea that someone has a private turtle pond in Manhattan.

Rolando McClain, Who Is Not High: Okay, Maybe I’m A Little Buzzed

2016 is a fucking mess, Patricia.

About a day after masturbating is no longer a fun way to pass the time.

Donald Trump: So full of shit, he makes the NFL look like a credible organization.

Nah, Charlie Hustle is still, and likely forever will be the hit king. I love Ichiro, and I like you cheeky bastards here at the Spin trying to be cute, but Rose didn’t get almost 1300 of his record hits in AA

“I don’t see any issues here.”

And you feel free to keep getting your cargo shorts all knotted up over jokes on a humor blog.