Michael Bennett

Unless he stole your laptop. That’s another acceptable time to dislike him.

Oh god this is way worse. The absolute temerity of cards fans...

#sadcardinals :(((((

I took that projected lineup/project rotation into the bathroom with me. And I didn’t come out for an hour.

If he were jerking off, he probably would have turned off the Victoria’s Secret show to avoid the distraction.

Why don’t they just make the whole plane out of peppermint bark?

but it’s hard to feel too bad for a guy who’s never shown any interest in giving his own fans (or anyone else’s) even a half-decent team to watch.

Hockey Referees are amazingly fun to listen to! (Bonus: Canadian accents)

I’m surprised Browner’s comments weren’t flagged.

I don’t know why you posted this at the same time as that article about that VA reporter who held onto the camera. Both deserve their own day.

Because they don’t serve Old Crow at Dairy Queen, they keep telling you.

I drew a dick in white-out on a girl named Brittany’s dark blue, monogrammed backpack in 7th grade (using the B as the balls and drawing the shaft out to the left behind it, of course) and got suspended for three weeks. My dad made me mow the lawn every single day because he didn’t know how else to punish me. It was a…

I got grayed out on Deadspin for calling out Draper for un-approving a snide comment I made. *

Rebels gonna rebel.

I’ll have to think about myself, but I can tell you the time my 7-year-old brother asked our neonatologist father if “any babies kicked the bucket today” over family dinner did not end well.

I got charged a misdemeanor stemming from me bringing a can of soda into the BYU library.

Are you a cop?

Hell no, I had to use Google to convert it. Why the hell is freezing 32 degrees?

This is the same man who cried about Tom Brady probably knowing that some footballs got fucked with.