Hi, this is my good dog. That is all.

Don’t stare too long or blood will shoot out of your nose

Do you think that every Trump voter, about half of the country,

Thou shall not use paragraphs.

Dear Deadspin:

Dead letter should stick to sports

We are all Simoleans now.

There’s no way Jason S. Garlock has ever made his wife cum.

I stared at these 2 sentences for a long time.

My job is managing money for people, you’re job

“John Smith” sounds like a solid troll effort. But if by chance he’s real, I’d suggest he actually read up on Trump’s policies regarding Israel. Gonna be awfully upset that Trump is all-in on hard-right Israel policy...

I love how hard the Trump Administration keeps trying to pretend that they and their supporters aren’t racist at all while their supporters just keep jumping up and down and screaming “YEEHAW GET THEM MESSICANS AND AY-RAHBS!” Somebody didn’t get the memo!

“I did not vote for Trump and have a strong dislike for him”

*Proceeds to write 500-word rant (in the subject line no less) defending people who voted for Trump*

Glory to trump

I have been to Samolia, pretty nice actually. BTW, the exchange rate for US dollars on Samolians is GREAT right now....

At least the Breitbart one was nice and professional. I prefer my white nationalist rags to be nice and professional.

I feel like every single one of these people have also penned an unnecessarily harsh Yelp review at some point

“Albert, thank you for the extra Trump votes in 2020. Singlehandedly, you engender everything relevant as to why it will be a true landslide victory for the Forces of Good over the Forces of Evil.”

but...these idiots can’t stop themselves from reading your “garbage.”

“Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android”