This whole story reminds me of the legendary email Taylor sent to the Padres, stating “I realize I may be burning a bridge here, but in the spirit of reciprocity, I would like to extend you a counter-offer to suck my dick”, after being offered a chance to pay $450 to attend their own “career fair”. This woman has all…

Hi Bruce, congrats on the new gig

I thought Deadspin would be excited about the decision. Finally an American sports team is going to reuse an old Arena.

Hey hey, whoa now. Calling neo-nazis “Fecal-Americans” is a disservice to fecal matter. Manure is actually beneficial to the world.

Compared to 2011, ‘12, and ‘13 it was.

Here in Chicago, we’ve had two mild winters in a row, so the usual winter die-off hasn’t occurred.

TACTICAL NUKE INCOMING, IT’S OVER

which is remarkably funny, because melania totally aped the first lady’s speech, in heels.

Thirsty as fuck.

Can you prove that hasn’t happened already?

A mutual admiration society between two “bigly” assholes.

Color me shocked!

Well she is the 1%, so...

Right wingers just see them as a part of the “lyin’ elitist librul Madea.”

“Forces of competition” is a free market for players and salaries.

Mexican food. New York’s is awful, Chicago has awesome Mexican on literally every single block. It’s amazing.

Instead of arguing whose sports fans are worse than whose sports fans, we should come together in agreement that all sports fans are uniquely terrible.

Well who’s fault is that for being a Blues fan?

Has a New Yorker ever shared their opinion on the difference between bagels in NY and bagels in other cities? I’d be very interested to hear what they think!

Counterpoint: NYC gave the world Rudy Giuliani. NYC can go fuck itself.

Then wake up the next morning and vow to find exciting new topics of conversation that do not involve goats, Harry Caray, or memorable encounters with Ryne Sandberg.