Yeah, this has actually happened to me, but thankfully I wasn't arrested or shit. But I was super pissed and I had to burn things and I didn't want my house to catch fire so the park sounded like a good idea. (The officer was a woman and she was just like "girllll I feel you, just put that fire out and we good".)

WORD. I've burned a lot of love letters, man. It's cathartic shit. (Don't do it at 1 AM in a public park though or you might have police out asking you what the fuck you're doing..... or so I've heard)

My closet is partially packed away in my parents attic... I've been a nomad for so long that perhaps when I actually turn 30 later this year I should live in a place where I actually own the furniture? HA like that's gonna happen.

My husband was also my high school sweetheart for 3 years, and back in the day he was a super prolific love letter writer - 5-8 page letters, written on scrolled paper & tied with red ribbons - they were FANTASTIC. We broke up & went our separate ways for 10 years, during which time I married another [really horrible]…

Things You Should Have In Your Closet By The Time You Are 30:

I'm sorry, did I wander into some parallel hedge fund universe where we all have walk-in closets? Were I to step into my closet I would promptly knock myself unconscious by hitting my head on the overstuffed hanging rod. When I awoke I would surely find myself covered in scattered "pliios" and "designer pima cotton…

Sounds good to me. Like, the werewolf mask fills all sorts of uses. You can rob a bank! Use is as a costume! Weird sex stuff! You're just multitasking up in that closet! However, I have two types of judges robes in my closet because my mom knows I love costumes and buys me weird shit so I might not be the best judge?

I did have love letters. Lots of them. At some point I imposed some organization- one manila envelope for each major relationship. Shortly after I married, at age 31, I decided that I wouldn't want my future child to find these letters after my future death, so I disposed of them. I plunked them right in the…

I've never been sent a love letter. I don't think love emails probably count although I could maybe print them out in a fancy font. My wardrobe has old paintings, yarn, and a werewolf mask. How's my adulting? Call 0800-1-D0NT-KN0W-WHAT-1M-D01NG

Agreed. When Obama is passionate about something is when he gives his best speeches.

10/10

Making a cat dance for one's life partner goes beyond the physical realm of pleasure. Slightly lifting a cat to a semi standing position and wiggling it to music is the most intimate experience two humans can share.

how do you not have a clear as shit mental picture

I dismiss this because I'm an actual scientist who understands important things like empirical data and confirmation bias.

"That was very interesting to me, as an evolutionary psychologist, that it reflects kind of ancestral tendencies."

That was speculation on my part. I added a point about it in the second paragraph. To be real, though, I was just kind of amused by the fact that it might be an AOL account, because I can't imagine her using anything else. Just like I can't imagine my parents how to ever figure out their comcast email addresses.

SHE WAS USING AOL.

I'll bet Elizabeth Warren uses Gmail. Boehner, of course, is on Yahoo. And his inbox is all "FW: Fw: Fw: FW: fw: Obummer STILL NO BC!!!!"

#EMAILGHAZI

TO: bclinton69@aol.com