I can't even bring myself to press play.

And who says pop culture websites aren't real journalism?

Yeah right, that's the oldest excuse in the book.

That one was me. Just to beat the other guy to it.

Holy fuck that header, I'm trying to work here O'Neal.

V for Vendetta Natalie Portman as the female Transporter.

Who is he Transporting from this time? Ze Germans?

"Life is too short to have anything but delusional notions about yourself."

Holy shit, that awkward silence is the best.

"I'm Samuel L. Jackson and I'm dead now."

The Jews do the issuing.

Does he offer sage advice about grabbing one's own posterior?

Come on, Jackson's the angry black guy, Freeman's the stoic black guy, and Fishburne is the guy whose daughter went into porn.

I'm still holding out for a Brownshirts series.

Not even Hitler's union American equivalent wants to cast him anymore.

YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR

Nose clams?

With The Simpsons' current track record of relevancy, we should see an American Beauty joke around 2027.

Where's The Taco Bell Bell when you need him/her/it?

Oh, we're quoting Family Guy now?