His agent is a Top Gun in the industry.

Dismission: Probable.

I wonder if his character will be jaded and/or sinister.

Man, this is heavy.

Get me the VHS copy of Spaceballs!

Oh, tonight?

Poor bastard.

Forget you, clown.

Don't praise the Pokémon.

Bro, you've got a dick on your face. You've got this.

You're either eating too much or too little.

I'd say that Clay Aiken should do more Thinkin and less Aiken!

Well, I think we're done here.

You can't overdose on nostalgia.

There's a Venn Diagram for People Who Hate Michael Bay and People Who Love Carlos Mencia, and I assure you those circles aren't even in the same galaxy.

Why play the game when I can watch the movie?

"Any questions?"
"Just what my agenda is."

Tara Reid married Congressman Dan Lipinski?

Well, see you on the Otherside then.

He looks like a blueberry.