If you don’t vote (but are allowed to), you don’t get to complain about officeholders; if you don’t pay taxes you don’t get to complain about tax expenditures.

An antiques dealer has millions of dollars to play around with? Every antiques dealer I know struggles before quietly going under.

It’s all fun and games until everyone’s awash in vomit.

One of my favorite exchanges from ‘Cheers’:

She’s not a victim, she’s a volunteer.

Yes, that’s from the Nine Circles Mall in Florence.

Sears, which is now a deserted parody of a Soviet-era store, used to offer similar lifetime guarantees on Craftsman tools. I went in with a broken tape measure that I’d bought more than 30 years previously and sheepishly asked whether the guarantee applied. The worker just directed me to a wall of tape measures and…

“... many writers sought to vindicate [Elliot Rodger] from the charge of misogyny. They argued that Rodger didn’t hate women, perhaps instead he loved women too much.”

I think the white woman looked happy, not upset, as though she couldn’t believe he made the choice she’d been hoping for.

Having received rejection letters from most of the colleges to which I’d applied, no one staged an assembly for me to choose between the only three that accepted me.

Good points about Apple’s use of data. As to the other issue, the iPhone (or iPad) must be connected to a power source (computer or outlet) without which you can’t wake up Siri simply by voice (you can still rouse her with the home button).

There are a lot of complaints about Siri’s bumbling voice recognition but I have two other complaints that should be much easier to solve: (1) Why does Siri need an internet connection to function? Of course it’s necessary if you want to search for something but even without a connection it should be possible to…

See, that’s the thing, it works. She’s actually 78.

My parents’ preference for my name was changed shortly before I was born when a family friend pointed out that ‘Bart’ did not pass the bodily functions test as it works well with both ‘barf’ and ‘fart.’

Creamy Mac&Cheese is okay but I prefer the cafeteria, cut-out-blocks-like-a-sheetcake Mac&Cheese.

I’ve been disconsolate ever since I learned that Trump shares my preference for well-done beef. I’ve had to become a vegetarian.

Ah, thank you.

Um.... I’m embarrassed to say, I don’t know the rest of that.

Dick Hertz.

And Tom Hanks, Martin Scorsese or Cory Booker.