I never saw it at the time, but I have read about (and seen screenshots of) a version of "Kaboom" in which, instead of dropping bombs, the guy at the top drops jism, and the buckets are replaced by a woman, looking up, with her mouth open. Keeping it classy!

Medi-cuck. Medi-yuckcuck? I can't keep track.

Tumescent is a distinctly unsexy word. My apologies to the tumor fetishists out there.

Yeah, well, duh.

Heisenberg's Douchebag Indeterminacy Principle.

They didn't know why….but they enjoyed it greatly.

Differently?

The thing is, that's true about basically every substance on Earth if the temperature gets high enough. For the few exceptions, it should say "IT SUBLIMATES!"

See, I was right, I made it true. Retroactively. That makes me some sort of reverse alpha, right?

"When Cucks Fly"

Didn't you know that purple is the new official color of the alt-right? Of course, that's totally untrue…but it could become true now that I've said it.

"Oh, no, he's not Nabokov" seems like it really wants to be a clever palindrome, but just was born with the wrong letters.

Unfortunately they're in Tucson. A 2 hour drive is hard to justify just for an Italian beef. Hard, but not impossible.

I grew up in suburban Chicago. My wife and I moved out East and my parents recently moved to Arizona so I don't have much reason to go back. That's probably for the best, because I had to always budget in gaining 5 lbs over a week-long visit. I do miss Portello's…

It should be a simple decision…if he's willing to give himself facial scars to really complete the disguise, he's acquitted.

The Vikings? Terrible!

And like overpriced beer. Good wings, though.

I was VERY confused until I realized you mean "I was born in 1981" and not "I'm 81 years old".

You mean, you don't want to see one more variation on "You don't just wake up on Monday into Mordor"?

[SCENE] Jax is gleaming the cube and perfecting the score. He's wearing VR goggles so he can hack while hitting a 720 front nollie ollie noseflip backgrind over the heads of three hotties in bikinis with like super big jugs. We see that he's trying to beat ICE which is represented as a dragon from an unpublished…