Excellent. 

No. Adult men don’t cry from physical pain. 

Alanis has no idea. She’s only paid to paraphrase shit taken from a similar article on a different site. 

There’s bone dust in my throat and everything is dead, but it’s all right.

You only live once. 

Ruthless. 

“Rookie”?

Fuck. Was gonna say John Spencer Booze Explosion. 

Funny how that happened. 

Funny how that happened. 

Was going to say that. I have the AR-15 version and found it was a great mousepad years ago.  

Was going to say that. I have the AR-15 version and found it was a great mousepad years ago.  

Very well done. 

Garbage, even. 

As you can clearly see from the author’s photo, he has a lifetime of sports participation under his belt. Don’t question his ability to get in-depth about physical contact sports. He certainly didn’t see this topic posted elsewhere over and over and simply create a similar post for Deadspin.

Thank you for “hermaphroditic frog”. Perfect new band name. 

Most likely a plaster cast taken from Howerton. Common in movies and tv.

Trump under-pays. 

Excellent. 

Seeing her pic got me to pay more attention after I had already read many of her previous things and was wondering how such vacant shit could be written seriously on this site. The pic really fits the text. “Hmmmm. Derp? I don’t need to know anything. Write things that get posted and get paid.” 

Right?! I’m perplexed as to how she got hired and has maintained a job writing about a subject she is clearly clueless about. 

Way too few stars for this.