"Back then."

Paula Deen is a vampire who had her first heyday back when slavery was legal.

People who genuinely say "she's from a different time" are either

1. Terrible at math.
2. Think Paula Deen is super super old.
3. Racism apologists

PICK ONE!

Paula Deen was born in 1947. Civil Rights Movement, 1955 - 1968. She was…

Do you really want me to believe that you have friends?

White dude here: I have a black wife and we're planning to have a child soon, so hmmm maybe I might have a stake in these matters.

Who is to say her life has been ruined? Enough people find racist language unacceptable that her sponsors will not support her. That's not life ruining. That is a consequence of an action.

When I was in high school, I got drunk and subsequently belligerent toward my mother while on the phone and called her a "stooge" and a "toady to the Man". Not one of my proudest moments.

Thanks for the womensplaining on a mens issue. We really appreciate your oh so valuable input.

Done!

I'm in my 30's now and I was grounded more than once as a teen by my father for declaring that something sucked. I think he was of the mindset that it had some sort of sexual connotation that I was in no way implying. Ha-in fact he told me that I sounded like "a mouthy fishwife" which was the best thing I'd ever been…

It's the Jarndyce v. Jarndyce of our time. I hope Danielynn's life isn't ruined by waiting for riches—hopefully there's some competent parenting in her corner.

When you're dealing with $500M to $1B that you didn't earn in the first place, $49M has to amount to change in the couch cushions in terms of how much you'll miss it. Greed & petty spite is the only explanation I can fathom for why the Marshall kids have protracted battle over two decades already.

Doug, I donn't know how to use this quiz. Is Cosmo and Glamour quizzes have taught me anything, it's that you need to assign a number to each possible answer. Then I add up the numbers and see what range my pet falls into. Something like:

0-5: You are possibly a negligent pet owner. Please feed your pet.
6-10: You love…

Man, I wish I could more clearly communicate sarcasm, that would be awesome.