That Ryn Weaver chick needs to lay off whatever mood/mind altering substance she is on. Her tweets are...worrisome. I hope her family and team can help her figure out some stuff.

Running for president is stressful and makes a person susceptible to colds. Can’t wait until she is sworn into office and get some well needed rest. ;-)

Like how about “Hillary’s Problem Getting the Young Female Demo on Her Side” or “Division Among Feminists on How to Handle Hillary’s Defense of Her Husband Against Claims of Sexual Harassment and Assault”? Maybe “Why Ted Cruz’s Brand of Christianity is Toxic to Women”. “All the Positions Rubio Has Changed on (But Not…

I kind of hate how “The Slot” is a vagina joke, too.

I love her coughing, eating baby bunnies, wearing sensible shoes, drinking beer, smoking a joint, wearing a pantsuit. I don’t care what Hillary does...she supports women and I support her. HILL YES! I support Hillary Clinton. Cough away, girl!

I said out loud to no one “Are you fucking kidding me?” when I read the headline.

Ugh. I sincerely sympathize. Nothing worse than a coughing fit behind a podium.

Is this really worth reporting? Called it on the weekend:

I was thinking that he tastes like rainbows, chocolate and sunshine. But that sounds delish too, actually.

THAT INSTAGRAM IS EVERYTHING. Big burly hot man feeding a teeny tiny baby??? YES PLEASE

That video made me actually lol, I think it was the voice and that the dog would specify it is a brown leg. How can anyone resist The Rock’s charms?

A deltoid?

I’d take the other bicep.

The Rock is definitely a whole lotta man. So there’s definitely enough of him to go around.

I’d take a bicep.

How very strange. Because I too want to lick The Rock’s legs. Or his chest. I’m not picky.

“Gwen Stefani sat in Blake Shelton’s lap for so long... she’s pregnant with a Mossy Oak Tree?

I’m just going to pretend I didn’t read any of that about Idris.

So method...

Well, is it a tradition now? In the category of “crushes on Weekend Update”, it’s been shown that Stefon’s cue cards would be changed by the writers after rehearsal in order to make Bill Hader break up.