This woman has a much nicer accent than me, but I still prefer my method of duvet-stuffing.

Based on what?

/Raises hand.

Tell me about it.

Would can be conditional, but in this case, it’s being used to speak from the past about something that did happen in that past’s future.

“For men, being monogamous isn’t expected until the day of the wedding.”

“That’s hot” may have been Nicole’s line, but only Paris Hilton can deliver it with her signature lack of charisma.

Given Paris’ famously wonky eye, is it even possible for her to do something unflinchingly?

It’s such bullshit.

Hmmmm. I didn’t read it that way, but I’ve been wrong before.

A lot of umps would have stared him down. Joe West would have yelled at him.

The guy has great hair.

A Modest Proposal

I pressed play, watched the kid wind up to throw the haymaker, scrolled down to read some comments, and scrolled back up in time to watch him whiff and eat a boot.

As far as I can tell from Gawker Media’s (over)usage, a bro is any male who is younger than you and either better looking, wealthier, or having more fun.

“Al Davis was remarkable in some drafts and horrible in others.”

No, left!

Can we assume that just as the NL doesn’t allow designated hitters, a North Carolina team would ban all switch-hitting?

Isn’t this a little like congratulating yourself for extinguishing a house fire you started by smoking in bed?