I guess I’m saying that some people need entirely too much stroking. One would think the prospect of a Trump would absolutely be enough to convince most anyone to work actively to avoid that as a first priority.

I know America’s wang still has a Republican Secretary of State.

Any Bernie Bro who saw Mike Pence’s speech and still plans on voting Jill Stein or writing in Bernie is a Goddamn coward.

Gonna go with “hellspawn” here, in deference to Ben Carson.

Yeah, but did they bump again and then they bumped again?

Was hoping for Hamlet, got My Little Pony.

Why does that uppity bastard Obama and his family get to go gallivanting around time changing birth certificates and ripping off My Little Pony bromides Goddammit?!

Alternately, I humbly submit Calvin Harris’ next award-acceptance speech:

Can’t wait for Taylor to whinge out another petulant awards speech about how she rose to fame all by herself without any help from anyone ever except her dazzling talent*.

If only we had had these e-mails post-9/11, there would have been no need for (physical) torture and we would’ve caught Bin Laden approximately forty-two seconds after making the first detainee read them, Clockwork-Orange-Style.

RightNutter World:

GFY. What part of “Protect and SERVE” don’t you understand?

The situation in policing is the same as the situation in the GOP: Everyone knows there are racists in the bunch, but absolutely no one will admit it and purge those fuckers and move on.

Don’t you Penn State Dumbasses watch TV? Your insurance only covers you if Kool-Aid man destroys your house, a bunch of deer have a pool party in your backyard, or a full-size gas grill bounces out of the pick-em-up-truck in front of you on the highway.

First off, DIE KINJA YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!!1!

Remember when self-righteous Ped State fans wore this?:

OK I’m late because I skipped over this article on the assumption that it was either a ponderance of Newt as VP pick or that he had just added some SAD! bon mot to his repertoire of stupid shit he’s said in the past.

For Fucktards like Walsh and his Fucktard Minion Army, “real America” means white dudes who bravely and selflessly fell outta their momma’s cooch on U.S. soil.

#TinyDickedFuctardsMatter to Joe Walsh.

No you lying liars! Taylor is making out so hard with Tom no matter what you say. She gives no fucks what you think despite the fact that she is obsessed with letting you know that she is the “it” girl and that will never change! She is so in the kind of love that a common prole like you can never know!