Remember when self-righteous Ped State fans wore this?:

OK I’m late because I skipped over this article on the assumption that it was either a ponderance of Newt as VP pick or that he had just added some SAD! bon mot to his repertoire of stupid shit he’s said in the past.

For Fucktards like Walsh and his Fucktard Minion Army, “real America” means white dudes who bravely and selflessly fell outta their momma’s cooch on U.S. soil.

#TinyDickedFuctardsMatter to Joe Walsh.

No you lying liars! Taylor is making out so hard with Tom no matter what you say. She gives no fucks what you think despite the fact that she is obsessed with letting you know that she is the “it” girl and that will never change! She is so in the kind of love that a common prole like you can never know!

Excellent point, that. I’ve watched people in court fuck themselves over all day long because they have no support system, and either no or awful representation. Shit that a RP wouldn’t even show up for, and never feel the consequences of.

That’s fair but I’d expand on that to say sometimes NRPs don’t do it because they have a conscience, but probably more often don’t do it because of the fear of the consequences.

OK, people, in my never-ending quest to quantify everything into easy to understand generalizations, this story feeds into the one that goes like this:

I am way too lazy and late to care if anyone else already said this,but, “starring in what will likely be one of the biggest movies of the summer”?

No Goddamn it we can’t. NOTHING makes killing easier than a gun. Not a knife or a car or a rock or any other fucking thing you’re about to fucking suggest.

More importantly, why are Nutjobs always so bad at spatial orientation? You shoulda been able to tell right after you painted the “F” that you were no way gonna fit “uck you Obama” into the remaining space, much less the brilliant yet subtle middle finger graphic (which will clearly be the icon for their mobile app,…

OK, my super-old website is janky, dated, and ridiculously amateurish. But my thoughts on Nancy Grace from a decade ago are as relevant today as cookie dough poisoning is. Enjoy:

Just think how much better I’ll be at masturbation, porn acquisition, and drunkening myself after this advice!

Nothing says “We got our shit together” like having this contest notification appear on Deadspin mainpage a day after the deadline.

Girl wins race. All other girls commenting on it act exactly like the bros they deride .

Pretty sure that kid went from lovable child star to heroin addicted nutcase when he played a car-thieving cop-non-digging punk on an episode of CHiPs. He corrupted Chris Knight Goddammit!

Finally, the recognition I so richly deserve.

We can agree that I generally refrain from it but in this case was going for a bit of extremism to make my “I’ll be back...” a little more of a dry humor.

We’ll just have to agree to disagree. I’m a pretty good judge of both fatness and certainly ugliness, since I confront both on the daily when I look in the mirror.

Suck it Abigail Fisher, you fat, ugly, stupid, bigoted, not-smart-enough-to-get-in-on-your-own-merits bitch.